In this final part of my series on siblings of chronically ill children, we will focus on the family as a whole. When a child has a chronic illness, the entire family dynamic is affected. Let’s explore how we can balance everyone’s needs and create a supportive family environment.
Acknowledge That Everyone Is Affected
The first step is to recognize that all family members are impacted when a child has a chronic illness. As Mailick Seltzer et al. (2001) pointed out:
“Life changes for the entire family.”
This means that:
- Parents may experience increased stress and exhaustion.
- Siblings may feel overlooked or burdened.
- The sick child may feel guilty about the strain on the family.
Open Communication Is Key
To meet everyone’s needs, open and honest communication is crucial. Families that communicate well often handle challenges better:
“Open family communication helps siblings to better understand the situation, therefore minimizing misunderstandings and disappointment.” (Deavin et al., 2018)
Tips for Good Family Communication:
- Hold regular family meetings.
- Encourage everyone to express their feelings and concerns.
- Listen actively and validate each other’s experiences.
- Be honest, but tailor the information to the age and developmental level of each family member.
Balance Attention and Resources
A common challenge is balancing attention between the sick child and the rest of the family. Giallo and Gavidia-Payne (2008) found that:
“Siblings often felt invisible unless they demand attention.”
Strategies for Balancing Attention:
- Plan one-on-one time with each child.
- Involve siblings in the care of the sick child, but do not overburden them.
- Celebrate the achievements and milestones of all family members.
- Use other family members or friends to help, so parents can give attention to all their children.
Maintain Routines and Normalcy
Routines provide a sense of stability and security for all family members:
“Most children just want things to go back to normal. Parents should make every effort to keep siblings on their regular schedules for school, mealtimes, bedtimes, and extracurricular activities.” (Collins, 2022)
Tips for Maintaining Normalcy:
- Keep regular mealtimes and bedtimes.
- Continue with family traditions and activities.
- Encourage all family members to maintain friendships and hobbies.
Seek Support Outside the Family
It’s important to acknowledge that the family may not be able to meet everyone’s needs on their own. External support can be crucial:
“The availability of appropriate external supports, outside of the core family unit, may help to minimize the negative impact of parental stress and unavailability on well siblings.” (Chin et al., 2018)
Sources of External Support:
- Support groups for the whole family or specific family members.
- Professional counseling or therapy.
- Respite care services.
- School and teacher support for siblings.
Self-Care for Parents
To take care of all the children, parents must also take care of themselves:
“Parents with the best intentions often evade their children’s questions — which adds to the children feeling excluded.” (Collins, 2022)
Tips for Parental Self-Care:
- Take breaks and ensure you get enough sleep.
- Maintain your own interests and social connections.
- Seek emotional support, whether from a partner, friends, or professionals.
- Accept help from others when it’s offered.
Celebrate Strengths and Resilience
Despite the challenges, many families develop unique strengths and resilience:
“Studies focused on family resilience show that in the families where one member has a serious illness, the family is stronger, more flexible, and usually has a positive attitude when facing adversity.” (Lizasoain, 2015)
Ways to Build Family Resilience:
- Acknowledge and celebrate small victories and progress.
- Find humor and joy in everyday life.
- Focus on the family’s strengths and how you’ve overcome challenges together.
- Create shared goals and visions for the family.
Conclusion
Meeting the needs of the whole family when a child has a chronic illness is a challenging but important task. By focusing on open communication, balancing attention and resources, maintaining normalcy, seeking external support, and taking care of yourself, families can not only cope but also grow through the challenges.
Remember: There are no perfect solutions, and it’s okay to have bad days. The most important thing is that the family stays together and supports each other through both good and difficult times.
This concludes our series on siblings of chronically ill children. We hope these posts have provided valuable insights and practical advice for families in this situation.